Rikard Österlund
Rikard Österlund is a Swedish photographer based in Rochester, Kent. Österlund moved to the UK in 2001 where he completed a BA (hons) in Editorial & Advertising Photography at Kent Institute of Art and Design. He also holds a PGCert in teaching creative arts.
The main focus of his work is on portraits and advertising for commercial clients, however in this interview Rikard shares his Kickstarter campaign for his book project Look I’m wearing all the colours, a project exploring the relationship with his wife Zara and the impact of her invisible chronic illnesses. You can back Rikard's campaign up until 1st June.
What is your background in photography? How did you get started and what kind of photographer would you describe yourself as?
I was a teenager when I start taking pictures of friends, bands, self-portraits. I remember skipping PE classes to spend time in the school darkroom, printing the images I’d made. In 1997 I saw an exhibition by Swedish photographer Anders Petersen and it left a lasting impression. My hometown Norrköping had a shop where you could by international magazines and I remember buying copies of Dazed & Confused and i-D magazine, getting inspired by the freedom their photographers seem to have. In Sweden most magazines seemed bland in comparison. I spent some time assisting photographers in Gothenburg but soon I decided to move to the UK to do my photography degree. In 2001 I moved to the UK to study Editorial & Advertising photography and those three years were an intense experience exploring a lot of different types of photography. My course work was entirely autobiographical, but on the side I made fashion images for other students. When I graduated I was offered a teaching job so I lectured part-time whilst building up my client list. I currently divide my time between commercial clients shooting portraits and lifestyle and my own personal projects.
How did you meet your now wife, Zara, and at what point did you become aware of her illnesses?
We had many shared friends but hadn’t actually met until I saw her modelling in a friends fashion show at the university where I worked. I was at the other end of the catwalk taking pictures. We met up soon after and it didn’t take long until we moved in together. I knew about Zara’s conditions from early on. Some of my friends had described them to me, but it was like Chinese whispers and no-one actually had any idea of what was going on.
Has it always been instinctual for you to photograph those around you, including relationships? How did Zara first feel about this?
Yes, I think so. But when I was younger it used to be more arranged - I would book a time to take some pictures - it has slowly become more intuitive and part of day to day life. I no longer feel obliged to use a certain camera, but am happy to photograph with whatever camera I have nearby. The shutter woke her up once when I photographed her sleeping, she looked really beautiful. Looking back at photographs is like a travelling back in time, not just to a specific event, but to a state of mind, an emotion.
How did the project Look I’m wearing all the colours come about?
I didn’t think about it as a project to start with at all. Me and Zara where talking one day and agreed that it would be good to document the flair ups. After that conversation I felt more able to bring the camera up to my eye on the hard days. That was the only conversation we had until a few years later when I felt it was time to compile some of the images. It was important for me to show everything, the great days and the hard. I wanted it to look like life and not a Instagram curated thing. So initially I chose images based on their individual strength rather than how they worked together. The first time I did an edit of what has become the book was at a Self Publish Be Happy workshop in early 2016. It was the first time I showed any of the images (20 of them) and it was a nurturing environment to work in. After that I continued working on it and showing people who didn’t know me and Zara to make sure the ebb and flow of the book translated. I am forever indebted to Swedish photographer Anna Clarén who has been a guiding light whilst working on the edit. It became evident that the core of the project is a love story.
What do you think you’ve learnt about invisible illnesses throughout your relationship?
The first thing is how common hidden, invisible conditions are and that despite this there is a stigma attached to them. It is believed that one third of the population live with a hidden condition. Travelling into London can be exhausting and we need to have regular rests. Asking for a seat on the Underground can be a challenge with a hidden condition, no sling or crutch to ‘evidence’ your condition.
I have also learnt how incredibly complex it can be to live with a hidden condition. A chronic pain can easily leave you feeling out of control of your own body and in turn cause isolation and depression. The response and reaction from people can aggravate and worsen your mental wellbeing. Since it is rarely spoken about it is easy to feel like you are the only person going through this.
How has photographing Zara — both the intimacies of the relationship, and the flair ups etc, impacted your understanding of living with illness, or your relationship (if at all)?
It has helped me a lot, when you are in the middle of a situation it is hard to see clearly. It is hard to understand the emotions and why something is happening. Looking back at the images afterward has allowed me to get more clarity and understand Zara's pain more than I would’ve been able to without the photographs. We have both been very open with each other from day one. Zara used to write very personal and exposing poetry and my personal projects left me quite vulnerable at times. So we never really questioned photographing the intimate moments, it just happened. Obviously you never have the intention of showing them to anyone else.
Why has it been important for you to produce a book of this project, and what advice can you offer to other photographs interested in making their first photobook?
I believe that art and storytelling can have a profound impact on our perspective. When I showed the book dummy in an exhibition last year people responded to the images and several people living with fibromyalgia said how much the book mirrored their life. I received a message yesterday from a lady telling me that it ‘really helped my daughters understanding of what I go though as I hide my pain, smile and try and carry on' You know when you hear a line in a song that explains how you’ve always felt about something but weren’t able to put into words?
I have always made little photobooks for myself and have done the design and print production for a few clients too, but this will be the first widely distributed book of my work. So I am familiar with the different stages of editing, design, paper choices etc. The most difficult thing is to understand is what your story is and then work out how the book can emphasise and carry that story. Oh, and read the colophon pages in your favourite books (to get the details about paper stock, the printer, publisher etc).
How does Zara feel about the project and book?
The first time she saw it was when I had printed the book dummy, so I was very nervous! She sat on the floor in my office and looked through it. It felt like hours passed. After a while she said that she thought it was beautiful and full of all her favourite things. "I think it is the most beautiful and romantic thing I have ever seen, full of hope and love because, despite all of the horrible things we have had to go through, we have always done it together."
What do you hope viewers take from the project?
I am hoping that they will connect to the story and that there will be some recognition. It is important for both of us to get the story out there, to let people know they are not alone. It would be great to create a crack in the stigma.
Where can people get a copy of the book?
People can make this book a reality by backing it on Kickstarter. If you go to the page there is a short film where you can see more images from the book (stay to the end of the video). A signed copy is £35 incl UK postage - until the 8am 1st June 2018.
www.rikard.co.uk
@rikard
@rikardolino on Instagram
Max Herridge
Max Herridge is a photographer based in London, UK, currently studying for a BA in Photography from University of the Arts London. Max identifies as non-binary and has self-diagnosed anxiety. In Surface Max's work focuses on anxiety and how reality can be experienced.
You're a current University of the Arts London Photography student — what is it that attracted you to photography to begin with?
My relationship with photography has changed a lot since buying my first DSLR four years ago. Photography was definitely a hobby to begin with; it wasn’t until about 18 months ago that I realised the power of the photographic image and how it can be used to make a statement. I began taking portraits of my friends and became excited by photography as a way to create interesting aesthetics and things that seemed almost surreal. When I started university, I decided it was time to start making more work for myself, rather than my Instagram audience, and use the creative freedom I have to express my thoughts, feelings and beliefs.
How did your project Surface come about?
It was part of a university assignment in which we were asked to create work under the title of ‘Image and Reality’. My interpretation of this was to explore the way in which people perceive reality differently. I considered how my own anxiety affects the way in which I experience the world and decided to confront the task of creating a visual to demonstrate an issue that is, for the most part, invisible. The Fragmentary site was very helpful in my research for the project as it was great to see what had already been achieved in mental health photographic practice.
What was your reasoning behind asking your Tumblr followers to respond with their own visual descriptions of mental health? Did it influence how you created the images for Surface?
I had put out a post to my 40,000+ Tumblr followers a long time ago, regarding a different project about mental illness that never came to fruition and decided to use this resource again to get a variety of different interpretations of anxieties, outside of my own experience. The responses I received described anxiety as a visual and one theme was apparent in many of the replies: water. The associations between anxiety and water varied greatly with some describing it for its destructive properties of drowning and flooding, whilst others viewed it as calming and relaxing. My own experience of water in relation to anxiety links to the latter idea, as a bottle of water and the movements of its contents calm me when its most needed. The piece of work exists as three sets of three images that begin at a broad landscape and finish on a macro shot of something that appears in the middle image, illustrating how things may intensify as anxiety arises.
Has photography changed your relationship with anxiety at all? Does it provide respite or further understanding of your experience?
This project certainly helped me to look at my anxiety more objectively. Presenting the work to my tutor group at university, not only in the final presentation but also in the weekly progress meetings, was an anxious experience for me and certainly helped me to overcome some of the anxiety I had about talking in front of members of my course. In this sense, it provided a kind of opportunity to triumph and also contributed to understanding my experience, which in itself provides me with some respite.
How do you see your work developing? Are there any themes you would like to continue working with throughout your degree?
At the moment, I am working regularly for an online music magazine photographing live concerts and gigs, which is something that I never saw myself doing, so at this point, I am open to my work developing in any direction. I am comfortable enough within my practice to take on anything that is thrown my way. In my university work, I look to move away from documentary, clean styles of photography, which I have always been attracted to as a comfort, and dive into more abstract and interpretative practices. Since moving to London, I have become more politically interested in things such as feminism, LGBTQIA+ rights, equal rights and the environment. These are all themes that I would love to get across in my future work. I am interested in making work that can mean something to someone and that can tell a story rather than work that is just visually interesting.
What are you working on next?
My next university brief is focused on creating a book about anything that you are passionate about. I have not finalised my concept yet, but I am toying with the idea of creating a piece of work surrounding a theory of the soul that my partner and I have. It follows how the soul is present in a physical body and where it may manifest in different people. I am excited to be in a city with so much opportunity for young creatives and am striving to put myself out there in the creative industry.
maxherridge.com
@max.emh on Instagram
Alice Guardado
Alice Guardado is a photographer currently based in Houston, Texas. She holds a BFA in Photography from the University of North Texas and is currently pursuing her Masters degree at SCAD in Savannah, Georgia. Through photography, she is able to express her experiences to others that might be going through similar complications. Her project Gone was made in response to her parents separation, forcing her to be confronted with memories and recollections leading to emotional instability and anxiety.
What is your background in photography — how did you get your start and what is it that you love about the medium?
I started taking photographs with a small point and shoot given by my mother in high school, where I instantly felt a need to photograph my surroundings. From then, I knew I wanted to pursue a BFA in photography from the University of North Texas. I became passionate about the medium after taking my first history of photography course in college, where I learned about its history, alternative processes, and theories.
How did Gone come about?
The series Gone developed from a need in documenting my emotions towards my parents recent separation. After my father left, I realized his absence was not the cause of my unstable emotions, it was the realization of our distant relationship throughout my childhood. This became the effect of my loss of identity; feeling lost, hopeless, and hollow inside. Documenting these feelings became a way of coping with the struggle.
Gone seems to be compiled of fragmented images, combining elements of self-portraits, double exposures and family archives. Can you talk us through the elements of the project and what they represent to you?
The self-portraits are a representation of the emotional component of the work, the double exposures reflect those childhood memories intervening with my current state. There is a sense of duality in the work which is seen through the diptychs. The tangible objects represent an aura of past memories combined with found photographs of my childhood. There is definitely a push and pull effect in my work between the healing process and the anxiety in my self-portraits.
What has the project helped you to work through (emotionally), if anything?
This project has helped me relieve some of the tension and anxiety within myself, although I might still continue to experience some of these emotional factors, they are not as strong as they were before I started this project. In a way, it gave me the opportunity to contemplate on past memories and better identify myself.
How does it feel to share such personal work? What have responses been so far?
Sharing such personal work can be quite challenging and scary at the same time. Initially, I felt self-conscious about showing that side of me, it can become difficult to talk about those feelings, but through photographs I can express them freely in a way where other individuals can come to appreciate and relate to my personal experiences. In addition, demonstrating to the viewer that they are not alone if ever experiencing a similar situation. It is a way to help others cope with their struggles of losing a loved one and at the same time showing that there is hope when facing these personal struggles.
What are you working on now?
Currently, I am still exploring this subject matter as my thesis project for my M.F.A program. I have always had an interest for exploring my own identity further through photography, and this project has motivated me to continue making work that reflects any mental illness or emotional distress caused by a variety of personal reasons.
Danny Day
Danny Day is a fine art photographer and recent photography graduate from the Cleveland College of Art and Design. Through his background in healthcare and through his own experiences, he uses photography to explore and express the complexity and difficulties of mental illness. In his project You & I he revisits his childhood school in an investigation into memory.
Can you remember the first moment that attracted you to photography?
I wouldn't personally say I was 'attracted' to photography, rather, I fell into by accident. In my early 20's I experienced a lot of chest pain, thankfully nothing serious, but of course to me it was, and I've only just recently concluded that it was actually due to anxiety. During that time, I found that taking long walks would help, and on one particular occasion, I took my parents digital camera with me, and my journey with photography began from there. I discovered that it kept my mind occupied, and the outside world transformed from something that just 'existed', to something that I wanted to document, observe and examine. Gradually, my chest pains alleviated, and so too did my anxiety.
How did the fascination with re-visiting your junior school come about?
The truth is, I've held a fascination with my memories from junior school for a long time, even since my late teens. I would say, less of a fascination, more of a fixation. I used to tell myself such a fixation was unhealthy, because how can you move forward in life, when you're stuck in the past? None of those memories would ever let me go, and in a sense I became somewhat obsessed by them. They weren't hurtful or upsetting memories, but rather a collection of moments in time when my childish mind posed questions that, interestingly enough, a child cannot even understand themselves. Those memories, and those questions, have stuck with me throughout my whole life, and it's only now, after being able to revisit the school, have I finally gotten close to being able to provide myself, and my inner child if you will, something of an answer.
You mention that your background in health care (as an Emergency Medical Dispatcher) and your own experiences with depression, addiction and anxiety have led you to create visual works exploring mental illness. What is it that photography provides for you that other mediums or forms of expression can’t?
Photography, I've discovered, is the only medium that provides me with the opportunity to both question and learn about myself. In fact, it sometimes tortures me. Its most powerful images remain burnt into my visual memory, almost becoming a scar that lingers. I have no control over this, instead, I'm left with more questions, than answers. Its stillness and silence demands study, provoking my imagination into filling in the gaps. What can I hear? What can I smell? What do I feel, and furthermore, why? Why am I even looking at this picture? What am I searching for? Why am I searching? What do I hope to discover and learn about myself? The questions never end, and that's why I love photography, or even at times, hate photography for this continuing questioning of self, rather than being able to find comfort.
What did it feel like to be back in that space? How accurate did your memories feel once back in the school?
To be back in that space was somewhat overwhelming. For all those years I'd held onto all of these memories, and suddenly I was left with a stark realisation, quite simply, that I have grown up. My memories were intact, but my experience of some of those memories, were the experiences of a child, and there I was now, an adult. Suddenly, those hallways didn't seem as big and daunting as I remembered, that tree didn't seem as quite as powerful and overbearing as I recalled, those things were still there, but my experience of them, 20 years later, was different. Walking around the school was strange, I felt like a giant, and rather than being back in those memories again, I felt myself watching myself as a child, as if watching the ghosts of my past as they played.
What is the importance of putting yourself in the frame within this project?
Placing myself within the frame became integral to this project. I felt the use of the hand worked well here. My hand, clearly that of an adult, reaching out to touch these spaces and objects once more, in an attempt to reconnect, rediscover, and learn. Accept 20 years later, the lessons are no longer that of Maths or Science, but of the 'self'. One of my favourite images from this series is the one in the bathroom. Everything clearly designed for children, the small urinals, the mirror placed at the height of a child, reflecting my feet. As a child, I always used to play with my hands and feet, being remembered of that, and seeing my own adult feet in this Junior School was a unique feeling. But again, important for the project, to visually represent this idea of 'growth' and 'growing up' - essentially, trying to suggest that ironically, in order to 'grow up' or 'accept' the idea of 'growing up' - I have to return to junior school.
How has You & I changed the way that you think about memory, if at all?
This project has provided me with visual proof, that memories change over time. The memories we have as a child, are just memories, and can only be examined and studied as such. Revisiting a place may provide answers, but those memories can never be re-experienced in the same way. In context of my project here, the issue was simply physical - I wasn't a boy anymore, I was an adult. I'll never be able to re-experience those huge hallways or those towering windows again.
What are you working on now?
I always aim for my work to be very personal and as emotive as possible. My You and I project concentrated on previous experiences of the world. I'm now looking at my current experiences of the present rather than the past. I'm discovering I tend to fly between extremes, I either hate the world, or I love the world! My research is heavily visual, and can be seen through my Instagram account. Recently, my interest has been examining anger, frustration and anxiety. I'm very interested in the combination of image and text, in the context of anger and frustration. I'm experimenting with free writing, writing the first thing that comes to mind when I look at a particular image. Again, serving as a way to question where such anger, frustration, and anxiety comes from, ultimately serving as a form of visual and written therapy.
dannydayphotography.com.
@danny_day_photography on Instagram.
Danny Day Photography on Facebook.
Zoe Amanda Jackson
Zoe Amanda Jackson is a London based photographer who recently graduated from Canterbury Christ Church University. Jackson has a keen interest in still life photography and exploring mental health issues within her practice, particularly social anxiety, a condition she has suffered from since a young age.
What was it that first attracted you to photography?
My first attraction to photography was a present I received from my grandparents for my 11th birthday, which was a basic point-and-shoot digital camera. Gradually with help and tips from my Grandad, I would go out with him on the weekends and take photographs of my local park. My interest in photography developed further when I took up photography during my GCSEs, as my life goal at that point in my life was to become a photographer because of the experience of creating these images with my Grandad.
What has your experience with social anxiety been like? Has photography helped you to manage the condition or does it help you to explore your own anxieties?
My experience with social anxiety was difficult when I was a young child. I had trouble trying to communicate, even with the closest people around me. In result, I became very angry and upset constantly. There would be various points in my life where I could not say what I wanted to because something in the back of my mind was telling me not to. Photography has definitely helped me to explore my own anxieties. For my projects, talking to other people with anxiety and documenting how they feel, has let me to talk about my mental health a lot more, especially more openly to my family.
How did Disquiet come about?
Disquiet came about through my interest in exploring personal subjects to myself as I explored family issues in previous photography projects. The subject of mental health is something that I am passionate about exploring and understanding more. I felt the need for more people to know that it is okay to talk about your mental health, regardless of your gender, age or background as I did not talk about these issues growing up in my childhood.
How did you go about interviewing young people about their anxiety? Was it difficult finding people to be open about their experiences with you?
Before I went to university, I belonged to a support group for people with anxieties based in London. I decided to interview people from the group as I found that they was more likely to open up freely to a person who they knew and had a bond with as we went through the same support together. The people’s names have remained anonymous as requested by themselves, through fear of being judged. Through the still life images I have created, I have allowed them to have this powerful voice to remind people how important it is to talk and think about your own mental health as statistics show, that 1 in 4 of people experience a mental health condition a year.
What is it that you enjoy about still life photography?
I love how through still life photography I can have full control over all aspects of the photoshoot. Especially when photographing in the studio, as the lighting, composition and technical aspects can be carefully adjusted by me to get my images as perfect as they can possibly be. Dare I say, objects are definitely easier to position and compose the way you want them to, than people.
What is your process like — from your initial idea through to shooting and editing a concept?
It takes me quite a long time to think through my initial idea as I try to research thoroughly into the different directions and paths that I can go with my project idea. After I have my idea together, shooting starts straight away with test shoots to see what’s working best for me. To edit down my concept, I tried to get as many people as possible to look at my work as I always want to continue improving my photographs to see if I am going in the right direction and maybe find out things from others that I did not see myself.
There’s a really strong graphical/advertising quality to your work — yet on closer inspection you begin to see details which highlight the anxiety. In Pencils you see the chew marks and in House of Cards its the solitary missing card, which makes me think of the split second of anticipation of something going awfully wrong. When viewers look at your work what it is that you hope they'll take away from it?
I hope when viewers look at my work that they are enticed in by the bold, cold colours portrayed in my photographs. On closer inspection of the photographs as you said, small details begin to appear, as I want the viewer to take away the feeling of ‘everything isn’t always as it seems’. Referring back to the subject of mental health, these two things relate well together as people might seem to be coping on the outside but you never know what’s going on in someone’s mind.
What are you working on now?
I have just graduated from university so I am a bit slow with project making at the moment but I hope to work on a project soon focusing solely on my own mental health with my family responses but I am not sure what kind of direction that is going to go in at the moment. I hope to use still life again in my next project to see how I can develop my still life/studio skills.
zoe-a-jackson.com
@zoe_a_jackson
@zoe_amanda96 on Instagram.
Leanne Surfleet
Leanne Surfleet is a UK based photographer dealing with themes of loneliness, nostalgia, anxiety & light through analogue photography. Leanne states that her photography has helped her to "overcome anxiety and fears over life & mortality, using the creative practice of photography as a calming mechanism, and a form of escapism."
How did you get your start in photography and what are your earliest memories of your first adventures into photography?
I started with a little digital camera that I got as a present off my Mum for my 18th birthday I think, I just started taking photos of anything and everything. I then started buying disposable cameras & playing around with film & was gifted a 35mm SLR. I explored lots of different film & processes. My earliest memories of photography adventures are when I was in my early 20s with my partner back then, we would drive around and find old abandoned & dilapidated buildings and I'd take photos. It wasn't until a few years later during college and mainly after that I started taking self-portraits.
You work primarily with analogue photography, a mixture of film and instant cameras. What is it that attracts you to working with analogue in a world that’s becoming increasingly digital?
I started off early with analogue and it just felt natural to me. I shot a little with a DSLR in college mainly because they encouraged us to do so and it was cheaper for me to produce work then, but I soon sold that to fund my love of film photography. I haven't even thought of going back to digital since, apart from taking snapshots on my iPhone. For me analogue is just much more honest and rewarding to shoot with. I've always had a soft spot for instant film too, I think if I had to choose one medium to work with from now on it would be Polaroid.
Self portraiture is such a huge part of your practice. I’m curious about what it feels like to make self portraits in a space where you are both the photographer and the subject. Are your images born out of an emotional need to express?
Yeah I think there's definitely an emotional need for me to express myself through self-portraiture. I've always said that I'm not great at communicating verbally so photography is the main way I express my feelings, emotions and anxieties. I think that I shoot the same whether I'm taking photographs of myself or of other people, it obviously just takes longer to shoot a roll of film of myself and I also have no idea what I'm going to look like in the frame, which is one of the exciting things for me working with film as well.
Can you walk us through how some of your images come about? Do you meticulously plan or do images develop spontaneously and organically?
I mostly just shoot when the thought pops into my mind, or if the light attracts me to a certain part of the room. I'll normally just grab whichever camera I feel like playing with in the moment and set up my tripod, find a space and composition and go from there. I rarely plan my photographs unless I have a specific project or idea to explore. I definitely believe in taking one photograph of a certain scene and if it's meant to be it will be, I can't be doing with deciding between two or five almost identical photographs. In this image (below) I was on holiday with my Mum. We went to Spain after I graduated university. It was a really lovely relaxing holiday and a great time for me to take photographs. I think my Mum was having a nap in the afternoon so I just hung around the hotel room and played with my Polaroid SX-70. I hadn't taken a tripod with me so I used piles of books or shelves as a surface for my camera. The afternoon light was so inviting and fell softly through bright white sheet curtains, I placed the chair in the middle of the window, put the self-timer on and just slumped into the chair and it turned out to be one of my favourite photographs I'd ever taken.
In Hospital Diary you write about coming to terms with the experience of being diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis at the age of 15. When did you start to document the hospital visits and what does photography bring to the experience of being in hospital? Has photography helped you to explore and understand the condition?
I think I started to document my visits around 2010, so when I was maybe 22 or 23. My hospital appointments are very long and drawn out and they used to be held in a small clinic outbuilding which was getting very tired and old. I'd be shuffled off into a room separated from my sister (who also has CF) so that we wouldn't cross infect each other or any other patients and then sometimes left for hours in this small room, with a specialist or dietician or nurse popping in to do their rounds every now and then. You were lucky if you got a room with a window. All the time spent in there in the silence, alone, just inspired me to start taking photographs as I realised this was a huge part of my life undocumented. I don't think it helped me explore or understand my condition any more than I already knew but it helped me cope and to process what I was going through. I've been in hospitals all my life but bringing a camera into one is challenging as well as very interesting, you find a lot of very intimate and moving scenes when you actually take notice of where you are. I created the project for a university brief so it was very scary to show all these very personal photographs to other students that didn't really know me at all, which then gave me the confidence to publish my story online.
In your artist statement you mention how photography has helped you to come to terms with anxiety and fears over your own mortality. Where do those anxieties come from and what kind of legacy do you hope your photography will leave behind when you're no longer here?
I think the majority of my anxieties stem from my health, although I am generally very well and keep healthy when I was younger and a only a few years after being diagnosed with CF I experienced a lot of anxiety. I used to think very negatively and think that if I had CF without knowing all my life what else could I have without knowing? I ended up experiencing something called SVT too which is pretty much just palpitations and the feeling of a skipped heartbeat, I just couldnt get over it for years and am still on medication for it although it is so much better controlled after realising it was a vicious circle with anxiety. So it basically started from there and snowballed into panic attacks and general anxiety, I never wanted to be far from home either incase something happened to me which is where a lot of my self-portraits at home came from. I feel safe at home and taking photographs at home was/is such a calming experience for me. I often receive comments from people saying that they relate to my photographs and it has helped them to come to terms with their own different types of anxiety or loneliness, so as long as my photographs are still around to do that for people that makes me happy. I take such comfort in the work of Francesca Woodman who died young and before she was really discovered as a photographer and knowing that her work is now seen and loved by millions.
What strikes me about your work is that you to take your viewer to another place, an internal world of curiosity that lends itself to daydreams and interiority. I get the sense that whilst you're making the work you are working through thoughts and moments in your mind. Is there something that you hope viewers take from your work, or is the process of making images more important than the viewer's experience?
You sensed right, I am usually working through ideas and thoughts in my mind as I'm shooting self-portraits. I find it quite difficult to explain what I'm thinking or feeling when I'm taking photographs. I've definitely been through stages where I've thought about the viewer as I'm making work but that can alter things so I stopped doing that. I do care what my audience think and feel after I've finished and published my work and it means a lot to me the encouragement and support that I receive, but the process of making the work has to be seperated from that. I hope that viewers take my work for what it is, honest and emotional.
What are you working on now, and what would you like to work on in the future?
At the minute I'm working on a monthly project with 11 other female instant photographers called The 12:12 Project, we all submitted themes for each month and we have to produce one instant photograph exploring the chosen theme. It's really encouraging and motivating to have something to work towards each month and to see what everyone else produces to the same theme. As well as this I'm trying to continue a series I started on a sleep anxiety I had been experiencing, its just finding the time and motivation to do it. I'd like to work more on portraits of others in the future, I will always take self-portraits and explore that, but I really do enjoy looking through my lens and seeing whats in front of me and being able to press the shutter and get excited about being able to move around more and think quickly.
leannesurfleet.co.uk
@leannesurfleet
@leannesurfleet on Instagram
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Morgan Cable
Morgan Cable is a photographer currently studying Photojournalism and Documentary Photography at the Swansea College of Art. In his work Isolation Cable attempts to convey his experiences of anxiety and his feelings of being alone.
How did you get into photography?
I got into photography during my first year of sixth form taking it as one of my A Level subjects after my history lessons had shown me some of the earliest photojournalists such as Robert Capa, Eddie Adams and Don McCullin, their stories of adventure and the lengths they would go to in order to capture a photograph was awe inspiring. I got to grips with photography during my A Levels and then applied to the Swansea College of Art to study Photojournalism and Documentary Photography.
What is it that attracted you to explore mental health in your work?
I wouldn’t say I was necessarily attracted to working on the topic of mental health but after two young men I knew growing up committed suicide due to the effects of mental illness and that I was also going through hard times on my own, I felt that it was time to do something about it. Since then I have been creating work in an attempt to get people talking about mental health as I feel the more talking that goes on, the better we will soon be equipped to help deal with the problems.
What has it been like making work about your anxiety? Has it been cathartic at all?
At times it has been difficult trying to create work on my anxieties as for a number of years I had been subduing a large amount of my emotions so to begin with it was hard to find out my anxieties meant to me, i.e. how they can affect me on a day to day basis, how easy are they to deal with. Once I had started opening up to people, I began to really understand what I was going through and my working process from then on has been much more organised and patient and made it a much more stress-free experience.
Can you describe what making photographs about anxiety means to you?
It's currently one of the major driving factors behind my work. After struggling to gain any opportunity to work with organisations and charities set up to help those suffering from mental illness, my self reflective work allowed me to still begin my own process of helping people and in many ways had more of a powerful effect in my opinion.
What is the significance of the room in your photographs?
The bedroom represents the concept of insecurity. Although the bedroom is seen as a place of rest, a safe sanctum within the home, a secure zone. The fact it is a secure place means it is very easy for a person to get trapped in the zone, refusing to leave only causing more anxieties when the person finally does leave. I have attempted to represent the darkness and suffocating feelings I have experienced.
What do you get inspired by? Are there any particular photographers whose work you admire?
As I mentioned before the work of Eddie Adams and Don McCullin has always been a source of inspiration for my work, their grit and determination to capture images had a massive effect of both history and the future.
What do you hope viewers will take from your work?
Overall I hope to encourage people to talk about their emotions and to help others talk about theirs. In the future I hope through working with organisations, viewers will be able to take the links and the knowledge they need to be okay.
What are you working on next?
I am currently looking for external contacts to work with during my 3rd year of university to create a project, which will be exhibited in London next year.
morgancablephotojournalism.com
Matthew Lees
Matthew Lees is a photographer originally from Manchester and now living in Carlisle, Cumbria. He mixes both digital and analogue photography but predominantly shoots in 35mm. Lees is a BA Photography graduate from Cumbria University, 2016. In Therapy. 2 Lees explores the conflict of living with anxiety. The project "acts as self help therapy for myself as I try to heal without the aid of prescribed drugs, as I am in constant conflict with what my head is thinking and what my heart wants."
How did you get into photography?
I first got into photography around the age of 15/16 as it was an opportunity for myself to be alone and leave the house to go out and explore. I first took a course when I went to college and completed an A Level over 2 years. This course and the tutors were a lifeline for me at the time as I was going through severe hardship where I was left homeless and dropped into deep depression. I was not aware at the time just how photography was helping me. In fact I have only just recently became aware of this within the past year when writing my dissertation on the therapeutic use of photography.
How did this project come about?
Each project that I carry out helps me with recovery and acts as a self help therapy. I have carried out another 2 parts to this on-going series and I plan to carry it on for a good while longer. The projects first started when in the last year of my degree course at the University of Cumbria I was affected by the severe floods of storm Desmond in December 2015. The flood water reached up the stairs and completely destroyed the ground floor. I was left homeless as I was low priority to the council on rehousing. This set me in a bout of severe depression and anxiety that I hadn’t experienced since my early teenage years.
I lost all of my work ready to be submitted to university and did not receive an extension so failed the first semester, this again adding to my stress and anxiety. I did not attend university for around 2 months after getting rehoused living in a damp house full of mould but this was the only accommodation available.
I finally began photographing but within the house as i still didn’t feel able to face the world. This project turned out to be the first of many exploring how I feel about my mental health and photography.
The second project which you have seen came about with me trying to show people that mental health disorders can effect anybody and everybody and wanted my friends to know this, which was a big step for me, I had spoken to friends in the past about this but having my first project used for my final exhibition and then picked to appear in 2 further exhibitions gave me a massive confidence boost and gave me the ability to carry on in this field. The series of selfies I chose to do because I dislike myself and my appearance so it was to challenge myself to show myself to the world in this light. I chose to then double expose these images with places around me because this is where I feel safe and it is places recognisable to the people around me and to people that know Carlisle therefore showing that mental health does affect people close to them.
What are you working on now?
I am currently working with Carlisle Mind, a mental health charity. working to raise awareness of the charity and of course mental health. I am photographing the work they carry out and the services they offer to try and make them more approachable so people like myself can feel like they can talk more.
mattlees.wixsite.com/photography
Jasmine Blanchard
Jasmine Blanchard is currently a Photojournalism and Documentary Photography student at the University of Gloucestershire in Cheltenham, UK. In this series Blanchard aims to illustrate the feelings of anxiety to bring greater understanding and awareness to the disorder.
What attracted you to photography? How long have you been photographing for?
I have always loved being artistic. When I was younger I loved taking photographs on my Dad's camera, after a while I got my own and I would take photographs of anything and everything because I was so passionate.
What brought you to choosing anxiety as the subject of your work? Do you have a personal relationship with anxiety?
As someone who has dealt with anxiety myself and also knowing many people who have also dealt with it, I wanted to bring this subject into the light and show people that even though you can't necessarily see it, it is there.
What was the inspiration behind your work?
I researched into this subject a lot before I began to shoot, my main inspiration for my images was Steph Wilson's series on anxiety. The way her images showed the issue in a more positive light, unlike many images I had seen before.
What do you hope your viewers take away from the work?
At first sight I wanted people to find my imagery beautiful but intriguing. After looking more closely, I would love people to begin to understand what having anxiety can be like.
What are you working on now?
At the moment I am working on expanding this series but also bringing together other ideas for future projects.
Claire White
Claire White is a 22 year old from Scotland, currently completing her BA in Photography at Edinburgh Napier University. White has a passion for creating projects that evoke a reaction from her audience. She is "interested in stories that matter, from real people who are willing to share their experiences with me."
What was it that first attracted you to photography?
That’s quite a funny story actually. While selecting the subjects for my sixth and final year of high school, I was really keen to study Advanced Higher Art and Design - it has always been a huge passion of mine. Due to how demanding the course was however, the school usually allowed students to have 2 free study periods that could be dedicated to this subject. My guidance teacher unfortunately thought otherwise and only allowed me to have one free study period, forcing me to choose another subject. Being an art teacher himself, he suggested I take up Higher Photography, seeing as I was 'so into art and design.’ I made a huge deal out of it and went out of my way to let everyone know how annoyed I was. Months later, I applied to a number of universities to study Primary Teaching, as had been my plan for the past few years. When it came down to prepping for my interviews however, I realised my heart wasn’t in it and it wasn’t for me after all. That’s when I turned to photography. I found I was able to express myself in a way painting never quite measured up for me - and I fell in love with it. I applied to college straight away, having only a couple of weeks left in High School, and to my surprise I got in. That’s where it all started really. You could say I owe it all to my guidance teacher in high school!
How did the theme of mental health become a key part of your practice?
My younger brother was my main inspiration for my turn to mental health projects. He had recently opened up about his suffering from severe anxiety. The reality of it shocked me at the time and everything about him suddenly made sense. I felt like I understood him so much better, purely because of one conversation. That’s when it hit me. I wanted everyone to understand what he was going through, to help him. After this I began to see more and more people in my life battling with a version of their own mental illness. It just took that one experience to open my eyes, and suddenly it was everywhere. That’s when I decided I wanted to do something about it, to raise awareness and try to get across just how common it is.
How important was it for you to sit and talk with Sophie, Craig and Shona about their illnesses? What impact did that have on the work you’ve created?
Usually when I experience something or form a strong opinion I try to incorporate it into my photography, it’s a way to express who I am and how I feel. This project was very different. I was trying to visualise someone else’s emotions, their thoughts and feelings, therefore I had to take an entirely different approach. It was very challenging at first, but I have learnt so much from the experience. Having all three individuals describe their illness to me is what made the entire project. Having never experienced any kind of anxiety or depression before myself, I had no idea where to start. Each of them gave such diverse perspectives on mental illness, it left me speechless. Their words were a very big part of the project. I asked each person, if they could draw their illness, what would it look like? From there we each built a visual representation of what their portrait would look like. I can’t begin to explain how open each of them were with me, I’m extremely grateful. Sophie even sent me pages of her diary as part of my research. It’s such a huge thing to open up to someone you barely know. I owe it all to them.
Who or what are your greatest creative influences?
My creative influences are a difficult one. I am constantly influenced by so many people I couldn’t possibly narrow it down to one or two people. My style is constantly changing and adapting too. I’m the type of person that will see a shadow on the ground or the light on someones face and feel inspired. I’m very observational, I love to people watch. This is where I usually find my creativity blossoms, when I’m not looking for it. My friends and family are also a huge influence for me. I love being able to bounce my thoughts and ideas off of them. Its a really big part of the creative process for me. Having someone to talk to about an idea for a project can go a long way. Being an artist can be an extremely isolating process otherwise!
What do you hope viewers take away from your work?
For the most part I want to raise awareness of mental illness. I feel that it has been a lot more widely acknowledged in recent years, which makes me happy. But it also pushes me toward keeping this going. My main target audience has been teenagers and young adults - I remember how emotionally confusing those years were myself, I can’t imagine what it must be like having to deal with mental illness on top of all that. This particular series was intended to evoke a reaction from viewers enough to ask questions. To raise awareness of mental ill-health and the importance of taking that first step in acknowledging that there is a problem. So many young adults, particularly those in high school like my brother was, are unaware of just how common it really is. Even if my photographs could speak to just one person, get them to open up, this would be an achievement in my eyes.
You’re currently in the final year of your Photography BA. What do you hope to do once you’ve graduated?
Initially I’m hoping to travel for a while once my studies are finished. Travel has always been a great passion of mine! I can take my work with me too which is a huge bonus. There is so much of the world I want to experience, graduating university won’t be the end of my learning process for sure! I’d love to work primarily as a documentary photographer, focusing on environmental issues and social change. You can probably tell I’m a pretty passionate person all around, I feel like I should probably put this to good use out in the real world.
What are you working on now?
Right now I’m focused on my final year project. I’m doing some research looking into what a person’s identity is made up of. I’ll be exploring a few themes within this topic; such as appearance, home environment and nationality. Basically the things you would find on an ID card! People fascinate me, I love exploring what makes them who they are, so I guess that’s where this project idea has come from. Its still very much a work in progress, but I’m really looking forward to seeing where it leads me!